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Saturday, August 21st, 2004
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2:17 pm
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well she finally did tell me that he was there, but only after I caught her in a direct lie to me. That was really rather depressing I think.
So she has started to see the shrink and he has her on lithium of all things. I think that this might be a good thing for her, but still no one likes to be on drugs for this reason. Apparently that was the only thing that she could be on because of a head injury that she sufffered a long time ago, high school we were both in the same accident.
Well now her boyfriend is definently there to take care of her though so that is up to them now. I really can say that I am becoming less caring about her whole situation the more that she brings him into the picture. If she thinks that she will keep the friendship with me and keep him then I think that she might be missing a big picture type of thing, I can not do that.
I wish that I really cared more, but I feel so crushed under everything that I just don't really. That is her choice if that is what she wants to do. I do miss her, alot, but I can no longer stand by and watch all of this unfold really. I am trying to live my life on my own terms and do what is best for me, I hope that doesn't sound to cold, but I am really just tired and want to try and be with someone that wants to be with me. I don't want to sleep alone anymore.
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| Thursday, August 19th, 2004
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6:01 am
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so the wife has her boyfriend in town and she is lying to me about him being there. She has not said that he was there, but then again she has not said that he wasn't. She told me the other evening that she was going to meet with her boss for some drinks and I do believe that is when she went to pick him up.
She has not called at all to talk and usually she does, she gets all paranoid if I don't call her and she calls me angry for not calling her.
Well I guess that I should also put that we are separated and that she is going to move across the country to be with this guy. She says that it is for a contract, work, but that isn't the whole reason. It is also because she wants to be with him and to be near him. I have spent the last fourteen years with her, not every day great, but also some of the best days of my life were spent with her. I have always been happy that I got to marry my best friend, but I am really beginning to think that this is the end here.
I am not saying that I am saint in all of this, I have my own issues, but she is sinking to new levels every day. Levels that I have been at mind you, but it will only leave her hurting more and more I think.
There is a lot more to this story that I will fill in along the way, this is only the tip of the iceberg, but there is so much to be said and right now isn't the time.
current mood:  depressed
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| Wednesday, August 18th, 2004
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8:22 am
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So this journal will be an alternative to my real life LJ, that has way too much hidden drama and just way too many people that I know in real life that are hanging and reading words into what it is that I say.
I will update this regularly though I hope, because it is such an easy way to talk about things and to be in control and let go of things that I have to say that would hurt and offend thsoe that know me. Hopfully there will be no finding this LJ for them, but that is something that I will deal with when and if the time comes.
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